


Love Me Anew

by Daaishi



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Getting Back Together, Making Up, Minor Ha Sooyoung | Yves/Jung Jinsol | Jinsoul, Pining
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-30
Updated: 2019-06-23
Packaged: 2019-07-20 15:57:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16140584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daaishi/pseuds/Daaishi
Summary: Kim Jiwoo was excited to meet her new roommate. Unfortunately, it turned out to be her ex-girlfriend and former best friend, Ha Sooyoung, which wouldn't have been an issue if Jiwoo wasn't still very much in love with her.And if Sooyoung didn't have a girlfriend.





	1. Chapter 1

Jiwoo finished unpacking her belongings on one side of the room, carefully leaving an equal amount of free space for her roommate. She hadn't arrived yet, and saying Jiwoo was excited to meet her was a bit of an understatement. She sat on the windowsill, hopeful that any car passing would be her. She tried to keep herself busy by aimlessly browsing social media, but she was restless, so she decided to make sure the room was clean for what was probably the fourth time that day, when she heard a knock on the door.

She hurried to open it for her, eager to help her with her luggage. As she extended her hand to grab her suitcase, she glimpsed the girl's face out of the corner of her eye. She gasped, taking a step back in surprise.

“Sooyoung?” she asked, hesitantly.

“Jiwoo?” the girl whispered, her voice just as small.

Jiwoo nodded and decided they needed to talk about this inside, so she stepped aside and let Sooyoung enter, closing the door behind her.

She couldn't believe it. Her ex-girlfriend, Ha Sooyoung, quite possibly the one person she's ever been in love with, who didn't reciprocate her feelings, was standing right in front of her. Neither of them said anything, shuffling awkwardly back and forth, an uncomfortable silence settling between them for much longer than needed. Thankfully, Sooyoung decided to break it.

“I… can ask to be switched to another room. I see you've already settled in.”

She nodded towards Jiwoo's side of the room and gave her a sad, almost nostalgic, smile. It was the complete opposite of what she wanted to hear and see from her ex-girlfriend. Her chest tightened and, if you listened closely enough, you could hear her heart shatter into a million pieces.

“No, it's fine. We're both adults, we can handle this. It's not like we broke up on particularly bad terms.” _At least, that's not what you think,_ she thought, careful not to show it on her face, instead covering it with a smile.

“You're right. I'm rather relieved you don't want me to move out. I'd rather room with someone I already know than a stranger.”

 _Someone I already know._ Was that all she meant to Sooyoung?

Jiwoo sat down on her bed, trying to keep all her memories with Sooyoung from coming back--both the good and the bad. It was fairly obvious Sooyoung had no feelings for her anymore, even though Jiwoo was still very much in love with her. Even after three years without her, she couldn't keep her out of her heart. The worst part was that Sooyoung was obviously over her.

Actually, no.

Scratch that.

The worst part was the framed picture now atop her nightstand. Sooyoung was kissing a girl on the cheek while hugging her from the back, holding onto her waist. The girl was very pretty, too. She had long blond hair and her smile was so big and sincere that it almost made Jiwoo smile herself, if it hadn’t been for the fact that she was obviously the love of her life’s girlfriend.

They sat in silence, Jiwoo idly using her phone but not really doing anything while Sooyoung unpacked. She thought about offering to help, but Sooyoung had always been quite a solitary person, preferring to do things herself. Jiwoo had always liked that about her. Well, she liked everything about her, but that was beside the point.

She got so used to the silence that when Sooyoung’s phone rang, she jumped slightly. Sooyoung, thankfully, didn’t seem to notice. She picked up the phone and as soon as she answered, Jiwoo’s heart sank even deeper. She could tell by the tone of her voice it was her girlfriend. It was the same tone she’d used when they were dating.

“Jinsoul! Hi! Sorry I didn’t call you earlier, I’m still unpacking.”

Jinsoul, huh. Pretty name for a pretty girl. _So unfair._

Jiwoo couldn’t hear her, but judging by Sooyoung’s response, Jinsoul said something affectionate. Sooyoung sighed loudly and laughed wholeheartedly, and even though it hadn’t been her who made her laugh, Jiwoo couldn’t resist smiling herself. They talked for a few minutes about Sooyoung’s trip which had apparently been an unpleasant ten-hour long experience. That didn’t surprise Jiwoo, Sooyoung always got carsick very easily.

“Oh, my roommate?”

Jiwoo straightened her back at the mention of herself, albeit indirect.

“She’s nice. I’ve known her since we were little and we used to be pretty close, so I think it’s gonna be great.”

Sooyoung looked at Jiwoo and smiled, giving her a little wave. Jiwoo’s heart was doing somersaults in her chest, but she managed to smile and wave back at her. Sooyoung then returned to her conversation, keeping that smile on her face the entire time.

When she eventually hung up, which felt like ages to Jiwoo but was probably closer to ten minutes, she placed her phone back on the nightstand and returned to unpacking.

“Was that your girlfriend?” Jiwoo asked, even though the answer was obvious.

“Yeah, that was Jinsoul. You should meet her sometime, you have a lot in common!”

 _Like being madly in love with you_ , Jiwoo thought, but she didn’t say it out loud. Sooyoung was obviously very happy with Jinsoul, and Jiwoo wanted to see Sooyoung happy more than she wanted to be with her. Although, she would definitely not be opposed to Sooyoung being happy with her. That would be ideal.

“Sure! Maybe we could go out together sometime. Speaking of going out, do you wanna go grab something to eat after you finish unpacking? I’m starving.”

Sooyoung nodded. “It’s a date.”

Even though Jiwoo knew she was joking, her heart did the thing again. Sooyoung was going to give her a heart attack one of these days.

She finished unpacking and Jiwoo snickered to herself at the difference in styles. Sooyoung’s side was quite minimalistic, with a colour palette dominated by whites, blacks, and reds, while Jiwoo’s was mostly pink and she had a lot of stuffed animals. Maybe a few too many for a college student, but she loved them all equally and couldn’t bear (ha) to part with any of them.

“I can’t believe you still have the penguin,” Sooyoung said, as if she was thinking of the same thing. She laughed. “I gave that to you like, what, eight years ago? I’m surprised it’s in such good condition.”

Jiwoo laughed too. “You know I hoard anything cute. Where do you want to go eat?”

“Anywhere’s fine. I saw a McDonald’s on the way here, I don’t think it’s too far away, if you’d like to go there.”

“Let’s go!”

The McDonald’s was, in fact, not far away, but it still took them about forty-five minutes to get there because they’d accidentally walked in the wrong direction for about fifteen minutes. They both laughed at their stupidity and for just a few minutes, everything felt like old times, when they were so in love with each other.

They got their orders and sat down at a table quite far away from everyone else.

“So, what brings you here? It’s quite far away from home,” Jiwoo questioned, genuinely curious.

“I could ask the same of you.” She had the audacity to smirk. “Basically, I wanted to be close to Jinsoul and this university had a fashion design program I liked, so I applied and got in. What about you, Chuu?”

Jiwoo smiled. _Chuu_. Sooyoung had given her that nickname back when they were in kindergarten because she couldn’t pronounce her name properly, and it stuck for more than a decade.

“I’m glad you haven’t given up on your fashion design dreams! This place has pretty much the best music production program in the entire country, I was so ecstatic when I heard I got in.”

Sooyoung frowned slightly and Jiwoo was worried she’d said something wrong.

“Music production? Last time we talked you had your heart set on theatre. How come you chose music production?”

“Well… I had my first big show a few months after we broke up and I realised it wasn’t for me. I like being behind the scenes more, so I chose music production. I’ve actually written a few songs.”

Jiwoo realised she’d made a mistake saying that, since most of the songs she’d produced were about her. _Please don’t make me show you, please don’t make me show you, pl--_

“You should show me sometime! I bet they’re really good.”

Jiwoo blushed slightly. “They’re alright.”

“The ever-so-modest Kim Jiwoo. Give yourself a little credit.”

Sooyoung smiled and Jiwoo’s heart filled with joy. Maybe it was quite selfish, but she loved being the one to make Sooyoung smile. Her smile was _so_ beautiful.

“How long has it been since we’ve talked? Two years? I’ve missed you. Even though we broke up, I think we should’ve stayed friends,” Sooyoung said.

“I’ve missed you too. I guess a break-up can do that even to the bestest of friends.” Jiwoo chuckled. “Maybe fate brought us together to be the bestest of friends again.”

Sooyoung laughed. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. I’m gonna go get some ice cream, want anything?”

“Get me an ice cream too!”

Sooyoung nodded and got up from the table, standing in line. Jiwoo studied her. Her body was just as beautiful as always, except now she had a bit more weight on her legs than before. Jiwoo absentmindedly wondered if she was still dancing. She decided she would ask later if she didn’t forget. Jiwoo thought each and every one of her curves was perfect. Her hair was just as long and healthy as always, flowing down her back, reaching the bottom of her ribcage. Even though she was only speaking to the cashier, her hands moved a lot and it hit Jiwoo that even though it had been two years, she was still very much the same person she fell in love with all those years ago.

Jiwoo snapped out of her Sooyoung-induced trance when she sat down at the table, holding two ice cream cones. Jiwoo extended her hand and took one of them. Ah, yes, the characteristic taste of cheap McDonald’s ice cream. In the back of her mind, a question lingered.

“Sooyoung, do you still dance? I noticed your legs look stronger now.”

Sooyoung smiled widely. “I do! I’ve been getting better at it too. Maybe I could show you a choreography I made. I may have incorporated your penguin dance.”

Jiwoo laughed. “I can’t believe you still remember the penguin dance. It’s been, what, eight years?”

“About that much, yeah. But I promised you I’d use it in my first choreography and you know I don't break my promises.”

It was true. Sooyoung always made the most ridiculous promises, but she never failed to keep them. Another thing that was just so endearing about her. Jiwoo's heart was melting faster than the ice cream on her tongue.

“Oh, I know. Remember the time you promised you’d go on a date with me if that guy I confessed to didn’t like me?”

“In my defence, I was 100% certain he wouldn’t reject you. Who would reject you?”

 _You_ , Jiwoo thought, but once again didn’t voice it.

“You have ice cream on your nose,” Sooyoung said, reaching out to wipe it with a napkin.

Jiwoo could feel her cheeks burning. She was sure she was red up to her ears, but she was glad Sooyoung didn’t mention it.

They finished their ice creams and Jiwoo offered to clean up. She threw away all the wrappers and used napkins, then returned to Sooyoung, who had already gathered all her stuff. Jiwoo hurriedly gathered hers and they left the fast food joint.

They walked back to the dorm in relative silence, but this time it was comfortable, for the first time that day. They also managed not to get lost on the way back, which they both thought was worthy of a celebration. As Jiwoo was taking off her shoes, Sooyoung sat down at her desk and leaned back in her chair.

“I had fun today. I thought it would be awkward to be your roommate when I first opened the door and saw you today, but I’m glad it’s you.” Sooyoung said, with her hands behind her head.

Jiwoo couldn’t help but smile.

“Yeah, I feel the same way. I’m glad we’re still friends.”

And she wasn’t lying. Maybe she was madly in love with Sooyoung, but she was perfectly content with being her friend. Her number one priority was making her happy, and that seemed to be the case.

Jiwoo went to sleep that night with the widest smile still on her face.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jiwoo and Sooyoung go on a date with Jinsoul.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no excuse for taking almost a year to update this

The next morning, Jiwoo woke up to an alarm blaring, which was most definitely not hers. She groaned and remembered the previous day’s events, and pieced together even in her groggy state that it was Sooyoung’s alarm. She pulled her duvet over her ears, but unfortunately, she could still hear the alarm. She looked over at Sooyoung who was still sleeping, despite the beeping in her ears.

Jiwoo hesitantly got out of bed and stopped the alarm. She shook Sooyoung’s shoulder lightly, but she didn’t budge. She brushed her hair out of her face, which made Sooyoung lean into her touch in her sleep and let out a sigh. Jiwoo’s heart skipped a beat and she was definitely glad Sooyoung wasn’t awake to see her blush. She had to wake her up somehow, though.

“Sooyoung?” she said, almost a whisper. She then realised that was stupid; if the annoying beeping hadn’t woken her up she was definitely not going to be woken up by Jiwoo whispering softly into her ear.

Then, she got an idea. She started singing, at first quietly, gradually adding more volume as her voice warmed up. It was their song back when they were dating, but it had been Sooyoung’s favourite song even before that. Whenever Sooyoung would space out, she would start singing the chorus and she would turn her attention back to Jiwoo. It seemed to be working as well as it had back in the day. Sooyoung opened her eyes slowly, blinking a few times and furrowing her brows.

“H-huh…?”

Jiwoo laughed.

“Good morning, sleepyhead. Your alarm woke me up but apparently the loud beeping didn’t wake  _ you  _ up so I decided to wake you up myself. Glad to know this old trick still works.”

“O-oh. Sorry ‘bout that.” Sooyoung's diction was slurred, a slight vocal fry present in her voice and Jiwoo would be lying if she said it didn't do things to her heart.

Jiwoo straightened her back and stretched.

“It's okay. Sleep well?”

Sooyoung sat up and stretched as well, rubbing her eyes and letting out a little moan, which made Jiwoo blush slightly.

“Yeah, actually. I was really tired after the ten-hour drive yesterday, I slept like a log.”

Jiwoo chuckled, then sat on her bed again, checking her phone, Sooyoung following her actions.

“Hey, Jiwoo? Jinsoul asked me if you’d like to go out with us for lunch today, she’d like to meet you.”

Jiwoo hesitated a bit and Sooyoung’s expression morphed into a slightly worried one.

“I don’t really want to be the third wheel, you know. You guys should enjoy your date together without having to worry about me!”

“Don’t be silly, Jiwoo. You know very well you wouldn’t be the third wheel with me. She’s coming over at two, she knows some nice café close by.”

Jiwoo accepted her defeat. God damn it, why could she never resist Sooyoung?

“Well, until lunch, we still have to eat. I bought some pastries yesterday before you arrived, I think they’d make a solid enough breakfast?”

Sooyoung laughed. “Yeah, I don’t feel like changing out of my pyjamas just yet. Let’s get this bread!”

Jiwoo rolled her eyes but smiled anyway and brought two small paper bags from her desk, handing one to Sooyoung. Jiwoo started munching on a croissant and Sooyoung took an apple strudel out of the bag, taking small bites out of it.

“So, is there anything I should know about Jinsoul before our date or whatever?” Jiwoo said, with her mouth full. In retrospect, she was surprised Sooyoung even understood what she’d said.

“Well… She tries to act tough but she’s actually a big baby, so don’t let yourself be fooled by that. Also, don’t touch her hair or it’ll all fall off.”

Jiwoo laughed reflexively but Sooyoung looked at her with a piercing stare, immediately erasing Jiwoo’s smile off her face. She decided not to ask further questions and made a mental note not to touch Jinsoul’s hair under any circumstances.

“Anything else?”

“Hmm… no, nothing I can really think of. I’ll let you know if I remember anything, though.”

Jiwoo nodded and turned on the TV, using her phone to queue up a playlist of funny animal videos while she finished eating. 

“You really haven’t changed one bit, have you?” Sooyoung remarked, a slight chuckle present in her tone, but turned her attention toward the TV anyway.

They spent what was probably a few hours but felt like ten minutes watching compilations of various animals doing funny stuff. They hadn’t even realised how much time had passed until Sooyoung’s phone started ringing and she removed her head from Jiwoo’s shoulder to answer it.  _ Wait, when did she even put her head on my shoulder? How long has it been there? _

“Hey, Jinsoul!” Sooyoung said, sitting down next to Jiwoo again, but not close enough for Jiwoo to be able to hear what Jinsoul was saying.

“Wait, you’re already here? Oh my god, I lost track of time. We’ll get dressed and meet you at the entrance.”

Sooyoung hung up and turned off the TV.

“She’s waiting for us outside, we should get dressed. Don’t wanna keep her waiting for too long, you know. Like I said, big baby. Big impatient baby.”

Jiwoo nodded and picked out an outfit quite at random and got dressed, Sooyoung doing the same. Jiwoo didn’t even realise that changing in front of Sooyoung might be weird, it still felt like second nature to her. Sooyoung didn’t seem to feel awkward about it, though, so she decided not to mention it.

They went to the entrance to meet up with Jinsoul and Jiwoo was taken aback by how beautiful she was. Sooyoung’s picture definitely didn’t do her justice. When she saw Sooyoung, she furrowed her brows and crossed her arms, as if she were mad. Sooyoung laughed and gave her a big hug and kissed her. Jiwoo turned around and tried to hide her blush. She was starting to wonder why she’d accepted to go on this date.

“Jinsoul! Hi! Oh my God, I’ve missed you so much!” 

“I’ve missed you too, I can’t believe I finally get to hug you again!”

Jinsoul’s eyes met Jiwoo’s and she broke the hug.

“Jiwoo! Where are my manners? I’m Jung Jinsoul, Sooyoung’s girlfriend.” 

She extended out her hand and Jiwoo shook it and smiled widely.

“I’m Kim Jiwoo, Sooyoung’s… friend?” 

She looked at Sooyoung for confirmation, but Sooyoung seemed just as confused as she was. Jiwoo wondered if she should’ve said ex-girlfriend, but she didn’t know how Jinsoul would react to her girlfriend rooming with her ex. She also remembered that Sooyoung had introduced her as her ‘childhood friend,’ so she just decided to leave it at that. Thankfully, Sooyoung stepped in.

“We go way back, we met in kindergarten and we were pretty much inseparable until about two years ago, when we kinda drifted apart.”

“Oh, really? How come?”

Jiwoo and Sooyoung looked at each other and had a telepathic conversation. They really should’ve talked these details over before they met Jinsoul instead of watching animal videos. 

Sooyoung spoke up.

“You know, high school kind of got the best of us. We were at different schools and we were both so busy we could never even text each other.”

Jiwoo nodded. “But hey, what matters is that we’re together now! Well, not  _ together  _ together, obviously, since Sooyoung is dating you and not me, but you know, together like--”

“Jiwoo, stop, we get it,” Sooyoung interjected, laughing. Jiwoo silently thanked her for stopping her from blabbering.

"Alright then, should we get going?" Jinsoul said, getting back in the car.

Sooyoung followed up by climbing into the passenger's seat and Jiwoo got into the backseat. Jinsoul drove for a while and parked in front of a small vintage café, Café Eden. They all stepped out of the car and into the café, where they were greeted by an old lady.

"Jinsoul! So glad to see you back. I see you've brought some friends, always nice to see little Jinsoul making more friends. You girls make yourselves comfortable and I'll come by when you're ready to order."

Jiwoo and Sooyoung looked at Jinsoul, who led them to a table beside the window. 

"That would be my grandma. This little café is hers, but it's also definitely one of the best in town. Order whatever you want, it's on me."

Jiwoo felt a bit guilty about having Jinsoul pay, but decided not to say anything about it. Sooyoung had described her as a big baby, and the last thing she wanted was a temper tantrum. They each ordered their drinks -- green tea for Jiwoo, iced latte for Jinsoul and a cappuccino for Sooyoung.

"So, how long have you guys been together?" She said instead.

A thought suddenly crossed Jiwoo's mind. If they've only been together for a few weeks or so, it wouldn't hurt so much if they broke up, right? No, that's wrong. Jiwoo instantly tried to forget she'd ever had such a thought.

"Hmm, I think it's actually our three month anniversary next week?" Sooyoung said.

The two smiled at each other and Jinsoul pecked her on the cheek. Jiwoo couldn't help but smile too, even though her heart hurt a bit. Actually, scratch that. Seeing the love of her life so happy with someone else, knowing that she could never give her that happiness? Yeah, that hurt  _ a lot _ .

Sooyoung's voice shook her out of her thoughts.

"Oh my God, Jiwoo, you know what this café reminds me of?" 

Jiwoo furrowed her brows. "What?"

"You remember that little restaurant right outside our high school? I guess it's not really a café but it's got the same vibe."

"Oh my God, you're right! I remember we would go there everyday after school. Man, I haven't actually been there in ages."

Sooyoung and Jiwoo keep recalling memories from their old town, and for a moment Jiwoo completely forgot about Jinsoul–it felt like she and Sooyoung were still together, never having been separated. She didn't even notice they'd started holding hands over the table until Jinsoul grabbed Sooyoung's hands. Jiwoo felt guilty again, but decided not to mention it. They kept the conversation going and Jiwoo realised probably a bit too late that Jinsoul was probably feeling left out. She was the only one who had finished her drink, Sooyoung and Jiwoo having been too busy to even think about that.

Sooyoung excused herself to go to the restroom and Jiwoo was left alone with Jinsoul. The atmosphere between the two was quite tense and awkward, but neither really said anything, until Jinsoul finally broke the silence.

"You guys have really amazing stories. I hope I can have something like that with Sooyoung too."

Jiwoo smiled, albeit quite forced. "I hope so too. You guys are great together."

She finished her tea, which had already gotten quite cold.  _ How long has it been since we got here? _ A quick glance at the clock on the wall informed her that it was 5 pm.  _ Has it really been three hours? Felt like three minutes. _

Sooyoung returned and sat back down, also finishing her cappuccino. 

"Oh wow, is it already five? We should get going, we've been here for like three hours already."

Jinsoul nodded.

"Yeah, time flies. I'll go pay and I'll meet you at the car."

The two gathered their things and went out to the car, waiting for Jinsoul.

"I really had fun today. Thanks for convincing me to tag along. Also, we have a lot more catching up to do." Jiwoo said, a wide smile present on her face.

"Yeah, definitely. Maybe you could show me some of those songs you've made, I can't wait to hear them."

Jinsoul exited the café and strolled to the car. She gave Sooyoung a big hug and a quick peck. 

"I can't believe my girlfriend finally lives in the same city as me. I feel so lucky."

Jiwoo's chest hurt again, but she just silently climbed into the back seat. The other two talked about something but Jiwoo couldn't really hear it. Eventually, they both got into the car and Jinsoul started driving.

"Hey Jiwoo, do you mind if I spend the night at Jinsoul's? We haven't really seen each other since we first got together, and uh, you know…"

Jiwoo blushed. Unfortunately, she knew exactly what Sooyoung was implying. She wanted to say that yes, she did mind, she didn't want to know that the girl she loved was in another girl's bed, but she couldn't bring herself to do that.

"No, that's okay! You guys have fun, and be safe!" was what she said instead, with a cheerful tone that was probably overexaggerated.

Jiwoo couldn't see their faces, but judging by the sudden silence, she could tell they were flustered. They spent the rest of the ride not really saying much, and the moment they dropped Jiwoo off at the dorms she couldn't help but feel lonely.

As soon as she stepped foot inside the dorm room, Jiwoo climbed into bed and started crying. She just wanted not to be in love with Sooyoung, would that be too much to ask? She couldn't even bear to look at the picture of Sooyoung and Jinsoul together. She knew, of course, how stupid it was that she was feeling this way. Jinsoul was definitely a great girlfriend for Sooyoung, they were meant for each other.

Jiwoo just really wished that it was her instead.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Constructive criticism is welcome. Although I'm fluent in English, it's still not my first language so if you notice any mistakes please point them out in the comments! My Twitter is [@satellitejiwoo](https://twitter.com/satellitejiwoo), feel free to DM me if you have any requests! <3


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